Wednesday, November 4, 2009

You just wait...

These are the words that Matt and I have heard many times in regards to life with a baby. I am not naive to think that things won't be different or change in some ways, but so many people are trying to make us believe that our lives are about to be over.


We have heard all of the following (some multiple times) all preceded by the words "You just wait you'll...”
-never lose the pregnancy weight
-stop caring about how you look
-stop running
-stop traveling
-not sleep
-never go out to dinner again
-want to get a minivan
-only want to be around other people with kids
-quit grad school
-never have time alone
-never do anything without bringing the kid(s)
(I'm know there are more, but these are the most common)

So I guess from this I should prepare to become a non-athletic, lazy woman who drives a minivan and never wants to leave the house, guess I'll have plenty of extra $ from the lack of traveling, running and dinners out to facilitate a new internet shopping habit.

6 comments:

  1. Oh wow, and here I thought maybe it was just me. I wish I could tell people to shutup, that "Ignorance is Bliss", that "I'll handle parenthood my own way, thankyou" but I can't. All I can do is nod and smile like it's something I WANT to hear...and I'm not even pregnant yet! Ironically if I turn around to these POOOR parents and ask if having kids is worth it, they totally change their tune...jeesh. C'mon people be POSITIVE for prospective parents! Rant over. :)

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  2. seriously!

    I can't stand all the negative advice I get!

    ~Kristi

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  3. I heard all of those same comments when I went through my first pregnancy too. It doesn't have to be true and probably won't be in your case. I ran 3 full marathons the year my son was born, the weight was gone by my 6 wk pp checkup, I still drive a Honda Civic, we took a 10yr anniversary trip to Hawaii with our 9 month old baby, we go out to eat when we want [in fact it was really easy the first 6 months when the baby just sits in the carseat], and I still have friends w/out kids. It seems like having a child gives you an excuse to change your lifestyle, but it doesn't have to. You'll love being a mom and the first race you finish with your baby out cheering for you will bring you to tears.

    I love your blog and I'm going through it with you as I'm pregnant with #2 due a few weeks after you. :)

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  4. one of the best quotes I have heard that would be a good response is from Paula Radcliff. When asked how motherhood would effect her running career (meaning it's over, right?) she replied "I had a baby, not a personality change".

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  5. The truth is, some of those things really do happen but not for the reasons you think. Hanging out with people who also have kids is really comforting - it's nice not to have to explain why your kid is screaming/snotty or why you need to nurse RIGHT NOW because that person will understand completely.

    Also, though I had a great sleeper who was sleeping through the night at a very early age, you still feel sleep deprived and tired. Sleep is precious and until you've missed some, you don't realize just how much you need it to function.

    And about that "not caring what you look like" thing : it's not so much that you don't care, but it's more like you just don't have the time to take luxurious showers or have the time or energy to dry/straighten/curl your hair every day. You grab whatever is clean to wear and hope that it matches. It doesn't matter anyway because it's going to have spit-up on it soon :P.

    And I LOVE my minivan. If someone told me two years ago that I would be driving one, I would have laughed but it's a great vehicle.

    I am not mocking your post, but it is totally easily to say "I'll never" do XYZ until the child comes and you find yourself doing exactly what you made fun of other moms for doing in the past. I remember saying when Baker was in utero that I wasn't going to have my life revolve around him. That we would carry on our lives like they were before, only with a child along for the ride. The truth is, it won't be the same. And that's ok! Embrace it.

    The biggest thing is that these little ones are SO WORTH IT. I won't be taking 3 minute showers forever or letting my food get cold at a restaurant because I am cutting up bites for Baker and heading off a tantrum...but for now it comes with the territory and that territory is AWESOME. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

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  6. argh! I also got these points made to me when I was pregnant. People really do enjoy scaring pregnant women and DISGUISING it as "a friendly warning". I also feel like people want to validate their experience and show you how much they have been through. Maybe you'll have an easy time, maybe not... maybe you'll change some habits that you didn't expect to, maybe not, the point is that Mr or Ms Unsolicited Advice has NO idea how things are going to go down for you!

    Anyway for what it's worth (now 3 months PP):

    -never lose the pregnancy weight - all gone at 2 months pp
    -stop caring about how you look - ok, I didn't really care before so...
    -stop running - currently running 55 miles per week
    -stop traveling - baby is 3 months old and has been to 5 countries.
    -not sleep - 8 hours a night
    -never go out to dinner again - true, we don't go often out of personal preference but I know many people who do.
    -want to get a minivan - still don't own a car despite everyone's assurances that you can't have a baby without a car.
    -only want to be around other people with kids - not even remotely true
    -never have time alone - ok, this is essentially true minus nighttime and naptime but what pregnant woman doesn't KNOW that already??
    -never do anything without bringing the kid(s) - true (for us) but again I know many people who do.

    In sharing my experience I don't mean to imply yours will be the same, only to point out that these blanket statements are ridiculous. Question the intention of the people making them!!

    Love your blog!

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