Thinking Thursday Working v SAHM mom life

Maybe it is that we are planning the biggest transition in O’s life so far, maybe it is because I’ve been working long days, maybe it is the winter temps and lack of sun getting to me. Who knows! I’m missing my days at home with O and thinking about being home when I’m not. This is not to start the SAHM versus working mom debate but to give me a way to say my thoughts and I welcome you to share your’s. I mean I have done it all working part time, working full time and SAHM. I wasn’t cut out for the last job and only last months!

Don’t get me wrong I enjoy going to work (most days) but as I see my baby grow up I’m realizing that she needs me even less. I want her to grow to be a strong girl and know her mom is here for her but I am torn. Being a full time working mom I get home tired and needing to get things done at home. Our weekends have been filled with plans: birthday parties, family get togethers and sometimes work. In the midst of this all I fit in my workouts and marathon training. O loves to spend time while I run and then gets her turn on the treadmill.

Having a little girl who is having issues with doing things on her own makes it even tougher. The book I’ve been reading Active Alert Child  describes her perfectly: active, alert, having personal space issues, needing to be with others but control the situation, aware of everything and wanting to take it all in. These are the kids who have endless energy and don’t let themselves relax or sleep from day 1! This makes life interesting but tough at times.

I want my time alone but I want my time with her making memories and doing the things she loves. I realized the other day that her and I have not yet played a game she got for Christmas, why I don’t know. I’ve been busy at work, maybe. SHe gets to spend lots of time with grandma thanks to me working which is great but there are plenty of things I miss.


Next year will be even more interesting with full day school and fitting in activities afterwards. I know I can’t be a SAHM but I can imagine a life with flexibility to be home all day, sleep in, work out when I want, cook meals with my girl and just relax not having to run off to important work. The problem is I want to share experiences like traveling that would be limited if I didn’t work plus I will soon hold a doctorate degree. Is there a perfect situation? Has anyone found it? 

Sorry for my rambling! Back to breakfast and off to work!

Comments

  1. Like you, I've done each version - full time, SAHM, part-time, and now moving back to full time. I don't think there is a perfect situation. It sounds cliche, but I think when you become a mom you give away a big chunk of yourself. You have to reconcile the different demands on your life and honor the most important. One of my favorite books is "The ONE Thing" and I read it at least twice a year, especially when I'm feeling off-track and losing focus on what's important.
    My older son asked me on Tuesday why I'm working so much now. I tried to give it a positive spin (I do love my work and am very proud of it) explaining that my working allows us to enjoy some things we wouldn't otherwise and that my non-traditional schedule gives him some undivided "mom" time and then "dad" time. I find I'm much more guarded with our family time (I say "no" to invitations a lot more now) and my personal time (I need and deserve time to myself). The time I spend with those I love is much more "quality" time than it used to be.
    That was kind of rambly, sorry! There are pros and cons to any of the situations with no one being better or worse than the other.

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    1. I'll have to check out that book, thanks!

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  2. There is no perfect situation. Unless you're a millionaire but at that point you're hiring people to raise your kids. ;)~ I'm a SAHM and my son is now 5. He doesn't really need me anymore so even though I'm home with them, I sometimes feel like I'm watching them grow up from afar. Hang in there, mama! You're doing a great job.

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    1. Thanks 😊 now to figure out the millionaire thing !!

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  3. It's so tough for every mom faced with the decision of how to make it all work. I am thankful to work from home--this has allowed me to be home but also have a career. When my kids were little, this required bringing a sitter in so that I could get work done. Now, they're in school F/T and fit all my work in then. So I feel that's about as perfect as it gets. That said, summers and breaks are tough and require lots of planning ahead. I am so impressed with those of you who work outside the home--I know it is tougher than what I do--I can do laundry, cook, shop, etc. throughout the day and I am so grateful for that. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job and both you and your daughter will benefit from your amazing skills at balancing it all.

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    1. Thanks, balancing act is my life right now. So true that kids benefit from seeing we can do this but still struggle at times

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  4. Oh my gosh. So hard! I just changed jobs from Sunday only to three afternoons a week (so I'm still mostly SAHM, but at least have some income coming in!). I don't want to whine and complain because I know full time working moms have it much rougher, but I scheduled my working hours to be mostly while C naps, which is great in that I don't miss too much, but that I've lost that ME time - time to run, scrapbook, relax, clean my house (i think I'm going to use the extra money to hire a cleaning service though ;) ). C is still pretty young, but I think eventually, I'll change the hours and work while he's in preschool and then school - I love the flexibility of being a physical therapist and working per diem. I love knowing that I'm there when he needs me, but that when he's somewhere else, I can do some other things I love. Is there a per diem or part time thing you can do?

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    1. Sounds like a great situation right now, I'm glad you can be with C. I'm. Considering looking for something part time it's just not easy since it limits what I can do then

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  5. Oh my gosh. So hard! I just changed jobs from Sunday only to three afternoons a week (so I'm still mostly SAHM, but at least have some income coming in!). I don't want to whine and complain because I know full time working moms have it much rougher, but I scheduled my working hours to be mostly while C naps, which is great in that I don't miss too much, but that I've lost that ME time - time to run, scrapbook, relax, clean my house (i think I'm going to use the extra money to hire a cleaning service though ;) ). C is still pretty young, but I think eventually, I'll change the hours and work while he's in preschool and then school - I love the flexibility of being a physical therapist and working per diem. I love knowing that I'm there when he needs me, but that when he's somewhere else, I can do some other things I love. Is there a per diem or part time thing you can do?

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  6. I don't have children yet, but your dilemma sounds like one that so many moms can relate to. Like a previous commenter said, there isn't a perfect situation just the one that works for you. I hope that you find your solution soon :) Your daughter is adorable!

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