Maybe it is that we are planning the biggest transition in O’s life so far, maybe it is because I’ve been working long days, maybe it is the winter temps and lack of sun getting to me. Who knows! I’m missing my days at home with O and thinking about being home when I’m not. This is not to start the SAHM versus working mom debate but to give me a way to say my thoughts and I welcome you to share your’s. I mean I have done it all working part time, working full time and SAHM. I wasn’t cut out for the last job and only last months!
Don’t get me wrong I enjoy going to work (most days) but as I see my baby grow up I’m realizing that she needs me even less. I want her to grow to be a strong girl and know her mom is here for her but I am torn. Being a full time working mom I get home tired and needing to get things done at home. Our weekends have been filled with plans: birthday parties, family get togethers and sometimes work. In the midst of this all I fit in my workouts and marathon training. O loves to spend time while I run and then gets her turn on the treadmill.
Having a little girl who is having issues with doing things on her own makes it even tougher. The book I’ve been reading Active Alert Child describes her perfectly: active, alert, having personal space issues, needing to be with others but control the situation, aware of everything and wanting to take it all in. These are the kids who have endless energy and don’t let themselves relax or sleep from day 1! This makes life interesting but tough at times.
I want my time alone but I want my time with her making memories and doing the things she loves. I realized the other day that her and I have not yet played a game she got for Christmas, why I don’t know. I’ve been busy at work, maybe. SHe gets to spend lots of time with grandma thanks to me working which is great but there are plenty of things I miss.
Next year will be even more interesting with full day school and fitting in activities afterwards. I know I can’t be a SAHM but I can imagine a life with flexibility to be home all day, sleep in, work out when I want, cook meals with my girl and just relax not having to run off to important work. The problem is I want to share experiences like traveling that would be limited if I didn’t work plus I will soon hold a doctorate degree. Is there a perfect situation? Has anyone found it?
Sorry for my rambling! Back to breakfast and off to work!