Giving in and moving on! I can not return to the past...
"Oh my" is all I can say after Wednesday night! I had been wavering on my idea to start dance again for a while and finally got up the nerve to make the drive to the studio on Wednesday night despite every bit of me wanting to stay home and relax. I had talked with the teacher during the day at O’s class and was reassured I would not be the oldest one there and given permission to try it out, which made me feel a little better.
This class was aimed at “young adults” and the other class at “adults 35+ well I guess I have now crossed to the second but aren’t we only as old as we feel? As I walked down the hall to the studio I was texting a friend who I used to dance with and I sent her this message “I’m old enough to be their mother!” and sure enough I walked in to class with girls just out of high school! One girl came up to tell me she felt out of place being out of dance for 3 years, ha! 3 years…try 15 years!
We warmed up which was great; a lot of stretching, core work and simple dance moves. Then these girls plopped down in to the splits! These runner legs have lost that ability, yikes! Now time for turns and leaps across the floor and luckily the terminology came back quickly as nothing was explained! This group had been dancing together for years, only a few of us were new. I managed this fine except that my ability to turn without dizziness is lacking! Then came the time to start learning combinations for the dance, first week already?! I had chosen not to buy shoes in case I chose not to continue and turning on bare feet sucks!
Lyrical came right back (although a little slow) and I was finally catching on. I love this form…I grew up doing ballet and jazz for many years and loved it, even took classes through college. I’m sure my form needed work but this is where I feel comfortable, your body just flows nothing is rough and static. Lyrical tells a story and is such great dance.
Next up tap and yep 15 years later (actually 20 years since tap) and I still do NOT enjoy tap! Ugh! But I survived the 30 minutes of tap, at least the song was decent and dance not terrible but once again back to “let’s do that combination from last year.” And minimal instruction. After 90 minutes I had survived, but barely at times!
So while I love dance I have decided that it is impossible to return to your past life! This and the fact that the class ends about 1 hour past my bedtime make it tough. I haven’t completely ruled out the idea of dancing again, it just won’t be here. I am looking into just ballet/lyrical classes on a drop in basis and weekend afternoons when I am still functioning. I honestly have no desire to wear a costume, be in a recital and compete again which is part of this class. I need to get that side of an activity gone, I compete against myself enough when it comes to running!
So here I am waving the white wave…I surrender and accept the fact that I am no longer that 16 year old who could dance for hours, do the splits, double and triple turns and leap across the floor with ease. I am a mom, a runner and will have to relive my dance life through my daughter!